Les meilleures Blagues d'informaticiens

Le , par fally, Membre extrêmement actif
Je vous amène à proposer une histoire du genre :

Un monsieur a un problème avec sa voiture. Il a ouvert le capot et rafistolé plein de cables...toujours rien. Un informaticien passe par là et il lui demande son avis. Celui -ci répond :
"Euh, je crois que vous devrez fermer toutes les fenêtres et redémarrer"



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Avatar de Paul_Le_Heros Paul_Le_Heros - Membre régulier https://www.developpez.com
le 25/06/2015 à 19:18
Aujourd'hui 2015-06-25 à 12:12 (GMT-5)
Connexion à http://www.php.org/
Image (au cas où ça disparaîtrait:
Avatar de andry.aime andry.aime - Rédacteur/Modérateur https://www.developpez.com
le 26/06/2015 à 9:48
Citation Envoyé par Paul_Le_Heros  Voir le message
Aujourd'hui 2015-06-25 à 12:12 (GMT-5)
Connexion à http://www.php.org/

==> http://www.php.net
Avatar de Paul_Le_Heros Paul_Le_Heros - Membre régulier https://www.developpez.com
le 29/06/2015 à 3:34
Citation Envoyé par andry.aime  Voir le message

MERCI ! Pas de pb, et je m'y suis rendu.
Mais l'image reste drôle, trouvai-je niaisement ! J'aimerais savoir s'il y a des clicks... J'avoue, j'ai été plus lâche que curieux.
Avatar de Bousk Bousk - Rédacteur/Modérateur https://www.developpez.com
le 29/06/2015 à 9:28
escrow.com
Avatar de pcaboche pcaboche - Rédacteur https://www.developpez.com
le 29/06/2015 à 10:08
Citation Envoyé par Bousk  Voir le message
escrow.com

Dites, vous savez que "escrow", ça veut dire autre chose en anglais ?
C'est un "dépôt fiduciaire", un tiers de confiance qui encaisse et débourse de l'argent / transfert des documents entre plusieurs parties.

C'est un peu comme les gens qui se marrent lorsqu'ils voient "the verge". Ha ha, c'est drôle...
Avatar de Bousk Bousk - Rédacteur/Modérateur https://www.developpez.com
le 29/06/2015 à 10:26
à vrai dire la définition anglaise, que j'ignorais, m'importe bien moins que la blague bien française à mon oreille
"secure transaction with escrow.com" me fait rire, désolé
Avatar de Escapetiger Escapetiger - Membre expert https://www.developpez.com
le 23/07/2016 à 13:36
Bonjour,

Le fil [Actualité] Quelles sont vos blagues de développeur favorites ? vient d'être déterré et ça m'a fait penser à ces pépites en anglais (que je ne savais pas où poster), issues de l'archéologie de la toile et non lues sur developpez à ma connaissance :

Berkeley California
Wed, 17 Feb 93 08:26:53 -0500

(Sung to the tune "Hotel California" by the Eagles)

In a dark dim machine room
Cool A/C in my hair
Warm smell of silicon
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a Solarian(tm) light
My kernel grew heavy, and my disk grew slim
I had to halt(8) for the night
The backup spun in the tape drive
I heard a terminal bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be BSD or USL
Then they started a lawsuit
And they showed me the way
There were salesmen down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to Berkeley California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place (backgrounded)
Such a lovely trace(1)
Plenty of jobs at Berkeley California
Any time of year
Any time of year (backgrounded)
You can find one here
You can find one here

Their code was definately twisted
But they've got the stock market trends
They've got a lot of pretty, pretty lawyers
That they call friends
How they dance in the courtroom
See BSDI sweat
Some sue to remember
Some sue to forget
So I called up Kernighan
Please bring me ctime(3)
He said
We haven't had that tm_year since 1969
And still those functions are calling from far away
Wake up Jobs in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to Berkeley California
Such a lovely Place
Such a lovely Place (backgrounded)
Such a lovely trace(1)
They're livin' it up suing Berkeley California
What a nice surprise
What a nice surprise (backgrounded)
Bring your alibies

Windows NT a dreaming
Pink OS on ice
And they said
We are all just prisoners here
Of a marketing device
And in the judges's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They diff(1)'d the source code listings
But they can't kill -9 the beast
Last thing I remember
I was restore(8)'ing | more(1)
I had to find the soft link back to the path I was before
sleep(3) said the pagedaemon
We are programmed to recv(2)
You can swap out any time you like
But you can never leave(1)

[ substitute whirring of disk and tape drives for guitar solo ]

Written by David Barr
and Ken Hornstein
and a little help from Greg Nagy

Source :
http://tony.aiu.to/jokes/Computer_Songs.html

et cet autre également,
This document is a copy of the "Nerd Songs" collection compiled by rfrench@cs.stanford.edu.

Sing this one to Michael Jackson's "Beat it"

You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

Better think fast, better do what you can,
Read the manual or call your system man,
Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
So BOOT IT,

Get the system manager to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Even though you'd rather shoot it.
Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
All that you do is flip a little switch.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Get right down and restitute it.
Don't get excited, all is not lost.
CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS
Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...

You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
Right then the thing dies but you know what to do,
BOOT IT.

You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
So BOOT IT,

Call the local guru to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Go ahead re-institute it.
If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
But if you are, it'll do it itself.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Then go find the guy who screwed it!
Operating systems are built to bounce back,
Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.

BOOT IT! BOOT IT!

Source :
http://web.cs.iastate.edu/~honavar/nerd-songs
Avatar de Lolo78 Lolo78 - Rédacteur/Modérateur https://www.developpez.com
le 02/08/2016 à 23:07
Il y a aussi ceci, sur l'air de Let it be des Beatles (Lennon/McCartney):
Write in C
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.


Et vous pouvez même l'écouter sur You Tube, par exemple:



(Le texte est une variante, mais l'esprit reste.)

_______________

De même, sur l'air de Yesterday, des mêmes Beatles:

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,

There’s not half the files there used to be,
And there’s a deadline
hanging over me.
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now my data’s gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,

The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
Thought all my data was here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

Woe is me,
It happened so unexpectedly,
Now my clients are all mad at me,
How will I ever collect my fee ?

Sheepishly,

I explained my catastrophe,
I expected some sympathy,
Now all of them are leaving me !

Let me be,
Wallowing in my misery,
Disaster, I could not foresee,
All because of a bad floppy.

Pity me,

All I wanted was to format B,
My finger slipped and pressed C,
And now I can’t find a boot floppy.

Here try this,
He promised it would bring more bliss,
I didn’t know it had a virus,
It’s aim was true it did not miss.

Avatar de Escapetiger Escapetiger - Membre expert https://www.developpez.com
le 10/09/2016 à 23:42


Bonne dose requise en autodérision en sus de « Dennis Ritchie - Write in C (Let it be: The Beatles) »

« Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? »



Source:

https://twitter.com/nixcraft/status/739383796626128896
nixCraft # ‏@nixcraft Jun 5
Lmao. "Go: What if we tried designing C a second time?"
Avatar de Escapetiger Escapetiger - Membre expert https://www.developpez.com
le 23/09/2016 à 19:40
Sacré COBOL :
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself cryogenically frozen when he died. One day in the future, he was unexpectedly resurrected.

When he asked why he was unfrozen, he was told:

"It's the year 9999 - and you know Cobol"

Source: tomlev ici
Avatar de Escapetiger Escapetiger - Membre expert https://www.developpez.com
le 24/09/2016 à 22:44
French tech innovation avant l'heure ?

Chaud bouillant ces créations du centre Recherche & Développement Motorola de Rennes en 2008 (je ne savais pas trop où leur rendre hommage):

Source:
Des salariés de Motorola chantent sur Youtube pour trouver un nouveau patron - 17/12/2008 - ladepeche.fr


LIPDUB Motorola - Le Telephone Pleure
Rennes R&D Center Channel



YMCA = We are fired - Clip
Rennes R&D Center Channel
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